In Need of your Help

Hello friends, I have had some struggles hit me recently and so I just want to take some time and share them with you. There is major power that comes when we surround each other in prayer and so I would really appreciate your prayers in these areas over the coming weeks.

I had the opportunity to visit home to surprise my family and spend a quick couple of weeks with them this last month. While I was home I had a rather unfortunate health thing hit me and had to go into the emergency room because of the intense pain it was causing. The past few months I have been going to the doctor for various tests trying to track down the cause of the pain I seem to be in and they narrowed it down to a possibility of kidney stones, ovarian cysts, or ovarian cancer. Thankfully they ruled out the cancer and told me that unless I wanted some very expensive tests done that I should just assume the pain was a cyst. So after being pain free for a few weeks it came as a shock to me that I would wind up in the hospital. While I was there they did an ultrasound of everything from my heart to my appendix to my ovaries and decided that it was most likely just another kidney stone.

I was also tested for some food sensitivities and found out that I have high sensitivities to wheat, anything corn related, and dairy. So as I have drastically changed my diet I am beginning to slowly but surely feel better again.

I know that many of you have been praying for me for several months regarding my health and I truly appreciate this, I know that it is because of your prayers that I have seen breakthrough in my health, so thank you!

I have another prayer request that has recently come up regarding finances. Because health insurance is so costly I have not been able to afford it, and so when I made the trip to the hospital while in Colorado, they told me that I couldn't apply for the state's financial assistance programs due to the fact that I am no longer a Colorado resident. When I received all of my various hospital bills they came to a total of $2664.45. On top of which my car recently needed some unexpected maintenance costing another $370. I do set aside money each month for emergencies but it is no where near enough to cover these huge costs. I am currently applying for various other financial assistance programs for the hospital bills, and hope to see the bill be reduced. But after a lot of prayer I felt God ask me to bring this before you guys, my family and friends, and ask that you pray about giving a one time financial gift to help me cover these costs. I know this is a huge thing to ask of you guys especially in this time of tough economy where I know that many of you are struggling financially as well. But any amount is helpful, so if you feel led to give would you send me an email at Jacque17lyn@aol.com and let me know.

If you would like to mail a check please do the following:

1. Make it payable to YWAM Pismo Beach

2. Attach a note saying it is for Jacque Gowing

3. Mail it to: YWAM Pismo Beach

791 Price St. #119

Pismo Beach, CA. 93449

I will continue to keep you posted letting you know if my hospital bills get reduced as well as give you updates on my financial status as money comes in. If you guys could continue to keep this in your prayers that would be great as well, it is cool to see what happens when we rally around one another in prayer and so I am excited to pray and contest for a financial miracle with you guys! If you have any questions please feel free to call or email me at Jacque17lyn@aol.com or 970-310-0971.

Love ya,

Jacque

Visit to YWAM Richmond

As some of you know, I headed straight from Colorado to Richmond, Virginia to not only visit my friends and fellow staff members, Brandon and Kirsten, but to experience a little bit of another YWAM base. It was a great trip, very relaxing and refreshing. I was only there for a few days but as you know God can accomplish a great amount of things in just one day!

Richmond currently has a Discipleship Training School running and so I was able to sit in on a few of their lectures. One of the speakers, Troy Sherman, also spoke on my DTS about Identity and Destiny, but God used him to speak to me in a new and different way this go around. I won't go into too many details, but God really spoke some encouraging things regarding Project 61 over me as well as taking me back to the roots of why He first called me to missions.

I also was given an hour to talk with the DTS students about life after their school. It was very cool how the Spirit led everything from that week's topic to tie into talking about the student's futures. Because every base runs differently and has different ministry opportunities; I was able to share with them how we are structured and the various ministries that YWAM Pismo offers. I also shared with them my heart and passion for short term missions and how God has brought forth Project 61 from that passion. There were a few students that asked lots of questions and showed some definite interest in coming on staff after their school is over; so please be praying with me that those who feel that they have been called to long term missions would really let God begin to prepare their hearts, finances, and families for this change. I will keep you guys updated as well and let you know as God begins to bring people on staff that have a heart to join forces with me and the Project 61 ministry.

New Happenings

Hey Friends,

I hope this fall season is treating you well! I love the changes in colors and the crisper colder weather that comes with this season! Well I have lots to get to so I am going to jump right in. As many of you know I am here in Fort Collins, I was browsing through flights one day a few months back and found an absurdly cheap ticket, so I jumped on it and was delighted to see that the cheapest dates happened to fall close to my Mom's birthday. So I decided that it would be fun to surprise both my parents, they were both shocked and I had tons of fun planning and scheming all of the fun surprises!

In a few days I will be heading straight from Denver to Richmond, Virginia. There is another YWAM base there and some of our Pismo Beach staff have been living there for a few months helping staff one of Richmond's schools. So I will be doing a pastoral/encouragement visit, as well as be able to have an opportunity to share with their Discipleship Training School, DTS, about Project 61 and the opportunity for them to come and staff in Pismo if they feel God leading them into long-term missions with YWAM. This will be my first time recruiting and so I am nervous to say the least but I am praying that God will give me the words to say and that I will really be able to share from the heart. So if you think of it please keep me in your prayers over the next week! Richmond also offers lots of urban ministry, which opens up potential opportunities for me to bring an outreach team in the future, so I will be scoping out the various ministries they offer there as well.

I want to share a story with you about a recent community outreach that our staff did together. As I have shared, we as a base spend every Thursday afternoon doing outreach in our community. It often looks different every week, but we go out with the same passion and purpose each time. Our desire is that we would build more and more relationships with people in our community simply sharing the love of Christ with them. The Pismo area is a very wealthy and affluent area and we often find that people are very complacent and un-interested in God there. So unlike somewhere overseas, where you can walk up to anyone and strike up a conversation about God, here we have to be a little more creative to get people's attention. So a few weeks ago, we made a sign that talked about Jesus washing his disciples feet and set up shop with our towels, buckets of water, and soap right near the pier. As people walked past us we simply asked if we could wash their feet. As you can imagine we got lots of weird looks and a few offensive responses but some were generally curious. So, we were able to explain that we are just a bunch of young people that love God and love people and want to bless and pray for people as we wash their feet, simply humbling ourselves to serve God's people. We were surprised at how many people let us wash their feet after we explained why we were out there and people walked away rather blown away and I believe rather blessed.

As I am sure you can imagine this was not the most comfortable thing in the world for any of of us to do, I honestly felt really foolish at first and after several people asked us if we had some sort of weird foot fetish, I was ready to throw in the towel. But as the time progressed and we shared our hearts, I began to see that God was teaching me just as much as those that wanted to know what we were doing. During our time out there, He rather sweetly reminded me that so often I place myself above others, I often catch myself thinking that I have it all together and know what I am doing. But by this physical act of washing feet, I was reminded that I am just as much of a sinner and just as broken as everyone else, but it is through Him that I have been saved by grace. It was like a beautiful picture of the broken serving the broken, being humbled before one another, laying down our rights and saying God loves you to someone. Whenever Scripture talks about people washing each others' feet, I see it as symbolic, not only of being humble before another, but as symbolic of washing off all of the crap that is on that person's feet, all that they have accumulated over their journey. It's kind of beautiful to think that Jesus wants to wash the hardships of our life journey off of our feet, and so I believe as his disciples, we are called to both metaphorically and sometimes physically wash the feet of others.

Well, I will end this post with some prayer requests, hopefully in the next few days I can write another one and share with you the exciting new developments of Project 61! But if you could lift up the following in prayer, I would really appreciate it:

• I spent a day in the ER while I was home and because I do not have insurance and am no longer a Colorado resident, I will have to pay the bill out of pocket. I am relying on God to provide the finances because I do not have them. If He lays it on your heart to help me financially with this, please email me at Jacque17lyn@aol.com and I will let you know to go about that, but I also really appreciate your prayers as well.
• I recently have undergone several health related tests trying to figure out what is causing some of the problems I have been experiencing. I still am not 100% sure but think that I had an ovarian cyst and recently have been suffering from kidney stones again, so please pray that I would be healed completely from these things and that I would not suffer pain from them anymore.
• That God would continue to give me wisdom and discernment about Project 61's 2010 outreaches.
• That God would bring the right people for each outreach and that we would really be a team focused on impacting the world for God's Kingdom.

Thanks so much for your prayers and encouragement! Please feel free to email or call me with any prayer requests you may have or just to let me know what is happening in your life. I love to hear from you guys!

Seasons

I feel like God is really growing and stretching me lately. I often look at it as a burden because as we all know, growth is painful. It causes "normal" life to be disrupted, it takes every comfortable thing and shatters it to pieces. On the other hand, being comfortable is not all its cracked up to be; don't get me wrong, I know we all appreciate having three meals a day and a warm bed to sleep in at night, but often comfort leads to complacency. I know from experience that the times in my life where I have been most complacent are some of the most dark and distant times in my life, it is in those times I feel most alone, most fearful, most distant from my Creator.

Lately I have been reading out of 1 Corinthians 3, it is a truly beautiful chapter that is all about giving the glory to God, recognizing that the things we try and accomplish on our own strength are foolish, but by humbling ourselves God desires to use us in our weakness. How countercultural is that concept?! We have been taught by the world that we must prove ourselves, that we must have the best job, the newest gadgets, that we should be full of pride and boast about the things we have. When really, God owns it all, he says when things start and stop, and he has numbered our days. That in itself is humbling to me, to think that although I claim to have control over my circumstances, I have control over nothing. This has brought me to my knees on more than one occasion and is something my flesh fights every single moment; I have to continuously lay this before God and ask for forgiveness. Although our world looks at humbleness with scorn, I can honestly say that it takes more courage and strength to be humble than it does to be prideful. So I am learning to find joy in the stretching because it really is the process that is most beautiful and not always about the result. If we, as Christ's people, can walk humbly we will be the most beautiful and useful tools for sharing the love of Christ with others. It will not be easy, on the contrary it will be difficult, stretching, and will take a tremendous amount of courage but how beautiful will it be to able to go before our Creator, stripped of our pride and tell him that we need him, so that he can tell us that he has chose us.

I have been in this season that is full of choices, everything from Project 61, to relationships, to future dreams and plans. It has been overwhelming to say the least, but has forced me to wait upon the Lord and seek his direction for everything. I often find that every season I go through teaches me something new and distinctly different about God's character, this season has been a different and rather vast aspect of God. He has been showing me that he is truly good. The simplicity of that seems rather ironic because it is something that has been a struggle for me to get a grasp on. Being a part of a fallen world, I find it easy to see the bad in everything. But everything about Christ is pure and good, I love when God is talking to Moses and he says "I am who I am . This is what you are to say to the Israelites.'I AM has sent me to you.'" How amazing is it to know that God is love, God is pure, God is good. His character knows nothing evil or sinful or fallen. When I am able to see him in this light it changes absolutely everything, and creates this hunger in me for a deep intimacy with him.

Well I feel like I have rather rambled on but sometimes I get these glimpses of him that are hard to put into words, but I want to try because they are so encouraging and life changing. I am sure that he is doing some awesome things in you and I want to hear about them so please post comments or email me. I love hearing what God is doing in you guys because it is so unique and individual to our characters but also can be used to teach and encourage each other!

Hannah

Hey Friends,

It has been awhile! I have been reading over some of the previous posts and realized that I often share a lot of the big picture news with you guys and leave out the day-to-day stories. So I would like to be better about doing that! Because really the day-to-day is what it is all about anyways. I know that I often spend most of my days trying to take steps closer to the "big picture" plan or idea that I am working on, and forget that God has plans for me today. I think that if I can learn to be happy with what today has in store, that I will feel less like I need to keep striving so hard for tomorrow. Cause really tomorrow is out of my hands anyway!

So here is a cool story, it happened a month or so back, but it is one that sticks with me. As a staff, we were out for our weekly time of evangelizing and building relationships with those in our community, when Steph (a staff member) and I came across Hannah. Hannah was standing on the street corner with her dog and her backpack, and we were able to tell instantly that she was homeless. Steph and I both realized that she did not have shoes, so we introduced ourselves and told her that we would really like to buy her some shoes. So low and behold we happened to be directly across the street from a Ross store. So we asked Hannah to come with us and let her pick out some new shoes, socks, and pants. Although those were very physical needs that she needed met, I think what was more valuable was the time that we were able to spend talking with her. She shared that people usually treated her like scum, she said that people would walk past her and make cutting remarks, like "Go get a job," and "Wow did you see how dirty that girl was?" We were able to tell her that God loves her very much and that He values her from the core of who she is. This affected her in a remarkable way and we were able to leave her with prayer and a Bible.

Words cannot express what I felt in these moments with Hannah; I so often claim to be too afraid to share with people how God has changed me and that he can do the same for them. I wonder how that makes him feel, that I am too selfish to share about the one who has transformed me. But it was in those moments with Hannah, that God shed light on the condition of my heart once again. I realized that it doesn't take a lofty speech, or well developed thoughts in theology, or a forced and awkward approach to share Jesus with someone; what it does take, is a little compassion and the desire to simply let someone else know that they are loved truly and deeply.

I doubt I will ever see Hannah again in this life, but I pray for her often and hope that we can praise our Maker together one day in Heaven.

Please pray for Hannah that she would come to know Jesus fully, that she would be safe, and that God would place people in her life that can help her get off the streets.

I have a lot to tell you, but I wanted to start by sharing some things God has been doing in my life these past few weeks. I believe that God often takes us through seasons in our relationship with Him, some very joyful and some that feel really hopeless. I am talking about those times when you feel like you have hit rock bottom spiritually. Those times when you are so desperately searching for God’s presence, but can’t seem to find it anywhere. Those hours that you spend angry, hurt, wondering why it is that you feel so abandoned by the One who promised to never abandon us. That is where I have been the past few weeks, and I have had some words spoken to me and things revealed that I would like to pass along to you.

The first is something that I personally struggle with a lot; that is trying to take control of every thing, everybody, and every situation. Sometimes this cancerous sin gets the better of me and I find myself lost in it. I forget to put my trust in the One who is far better at seeing the future and really outdoes me in the whole provision thing. So of course, if I am choosing to make my relationship with God all about me, then it is bound to lose some of its intimacy. I am bound to feel abandoned, lonely, and angry because I am not really able to provide for myself like God can.

When we are weak He is strong. I am often reminded of Moses and his speech impediment, and the disciples just mere fishermen, uneducated and some very young. Sometimes I feel a little like David, I come before the Lord whining way more often than I go to Him in reverence of who He is. But it is in these times of our human weakness that God often does huge things because then He gets the glory. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I don’t really have an answer as to why these seasons happen, but I do have a hunch, it is in the hard seasons that it is all about making choices. Do I choose to throw in the towel, move on, or do I seek deeper, do I cry out more, do I admit that I need God so desperately. I think that when we come out on the other side of the valley, we have learned things, let some of our flesh die so that we can be more like Christ, we come out more refined by the fire. I know that I have come too far to quit now; I desire to look more like a diamond than I do a lump of coal.

I have been reading a book called “The Emotionally Healthy Church” by Peter Scazzero (I highly recommend this by the way)! There is a quote in there based off of 2 Cor. 5:21 it says, “The Gospel says that you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, yet you are more accepted and loved than you ever dared hope because Jesus lived and died in your place. A great exchange takes place when we place our trust and faith in Jesus Christ. ‘God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him, we might become the righteousness of God.’”

On another note I have officially moved into a new place! Yey! Because we gained a fourth roommate we were in need of finding a new place, so we began the tedious process of looking and managed to find “the one” only on our second day of showings! God’s hand was all over the whole thing because the landlord normally only lets two tenants live here, but changed his mind for us, also choosing not to raise the rent! I will be making a video soon so that you can have the grand tour of the place and get an idea of what everything looks like, make sure to check it out on Facebook.

I am not sure if I mentioned this in the last update, but my ministry has a name! It is called Project 61, based off of Isaiah 61. Things are slowly progressing, I am learning the number of hours it takes to create a website as well as trying to be more aware of advertising tactics so that I can distribute information as most effectively as possible to the community and other areas regarding Project 61. Your continued prayers in this area would be greatly appreciated; I am always in need of more guidance and wisdom from the Lord regarding my next steps forward.

Well that is all for now; please email me if you have any questions, comments, or prayer requests. I appreciate all of you!

God Bless,

Jacque

Trusting in Him

    Trust. Something much easier said than done. It has donned on me recently that trust is something rather intimate, it means that you are willing to give others the control to build you up or tear you down. It means that you are willing to abide in that person, willing to follow them in decision making, and put faith in them. 

    When I really think through this I realize that I do not easily trust, I am afraid to let the walls fall down, I am afraid to get hurt. God has been challenging me a lot in this area, He is my Creator, He knows my deepest most intimate thoughts and desires, He knows my triumphs and failures, my fears, my hurts, and yet He is the one I so often am most afraid to trust. I am afraid to trust the Creator of the universe, that has named the stars in the sky, and knows the number of hairs on my head, He who spoke the very world into creation. In the grand scheme of it all I am truly nothing and He is truly everything, and yet He calls me His beloved, I am His treasured one. So why is it so hard for me to hand over my trust to the one who spoke me into existence and has my very best interest in mind? 

   I do know one thing. The times that I have been able to lay down everything, giving all things back to God that rightly belong to Him anyway, I am set free in a way that is hard to comprehend or describe. I think we, as Americans, often feel we are entitled to so much. I often catch myself complaining about things that take too long, or whining because I can't afford that new thing that I want but don't actually need. But when I really think about it, what is mine? Nothing is truly mine, not my money, not my job, not my house or car, or even my own life. All those things have been given to me by God and He can give me more or take it all away in the blink of an eye. But here is the key, God is good, He is so deeply in love with us, and has only our best interest in mind. Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." 

   God yearns for us to go to Him in all circumstances large or small. He wants to show us that He truly is our Jehovah Jireh, our provider. My current living circumstances are a testimony to His provision. I rely on Him to provide my finances through amazing people like yourselves. But I am daily learning to trust even still, because so often I want control, so often I strive to have control over my relationships, my work, my things. When really, none of those things are mine anyway, He has given them to me to steward and ultimately to bring honor to Him. 

   All this to say, Jesus wants us to lean hard on Him, He wants us to desire His provision in every circumstance, He wants to give us His best (which believe me, is much better than anything I could ever imagine)!